A day that blows.

sometimes, i wonder if you've changed.

and then i realized, i'm in no position to wonder for i have not known you long enough.

but still, i choose to believe you have.

oh no, don't get me wrong. Change isn't such a bad thing. I always believe that people change.

Truth be told, i think i've changed too. And i think it was you who taught me how.

You know i'm sorry for always throwing you with sarcastic remarks and teases.

And i'm sorry for apologizing and yet still continue doing so.

You think i'm being self-centered. I just think it's self-defense. You think i'm being selfish. I just think i'm being protective.

Maybe one day, i'll teach you the art of self-defense. And you'll thank me for that.

Or maybe one day, i'll meet that someone that completely throws me off guard.

I know that i'm weak and fragile. But it's just something i'll never admit to.

Sometimes, i don't understand. Sometimes, i just don't see. Sometimes, i just don't get it.

Why things happen the way they do?

What is God trying to hint? Or what is He trying to do?

I know that my faith has flaws. My trust has loop holes. I know i did not turn out to be the child He has always wanted me to be.

But i did try. Don't say i never try. Maybe not hard enough, but i always go back to the point i started.

People say the world is round. I doubt so. It's rectangle in shape and when you reach the sharp edges, you'll fall so hard it breaks all the bones in you. You'll never be able to keep walking until you reach the point you started. In other words, you can never re-do what you did. And you can never go back to how things were.

But of course, life offers you the BEST !!! I don't know about yours but i think i'm having so much more than i deserve.

I should start counting my blessings and stop complaining...

and i should stop expecting too much... cause a wise man once said, expectation is like a double-edge sword.

:)

I always feel that people should be happier. I don't understand emo-ness. I don't understand why one has to ruin a perfect day emo-ing about unimportant stuffs. I don't understand why being happy is so difficult. And i find it suffocating to be mad and angry. It just freaking eats up too much of my energy!

On a happier note, i'm so looking forward to the weekend. And then weekdays come afterwards :P