I'm still me,

just a better version of me.

A few days more before i turn 20...
And here's a little piece of something i'd like to say to 19..

Thank you for sticking with me through this entire year. Despite the mistakes i had made all along the way, i have always been excused and forgiven. Probably because 19 is still considered as a teenager. It's gonna be a big step to take transiting from 19 to 20... well, cause when you're 20, you're no longer considered as a teenager. You're called a young adult now. And its a little scary to come to think of it.


Here's a random thing to mention just for fun...
"Surveys show that the 3 little words that women really want to hear from men are: I'll cook dinner ..."
Truth be told, i always find guys that do chores and cookings extremely attractive..
I'm just saying... :D

I've listed out a few little things to improve on when i reach 20. One thing i should stop doing is lying to myself. I love lying to myself. I don't know why. You see when i started my second year, i too made a list of things to improve on, a few things such as going to study area / library at least trice a week, read up lecture notes at the end of the day, breakfast every morning, go to classes punctually and make notes diligently etc...
It is not even half way through my list and i'm already feeling this whole junk of guilt thrown on my shoulder. Not even one thing i've succeeded doing, in fact, i think i was worse in 2nd year than in 1st year. I'm awesome, am i not... =(

UGH!!!
I REALLY SHOULDNT BE MISSING CLASSES OR SHOULDNT BE WATCHING KOREAN DRAMAS TILL LATE NIGHT.

Oh, great, i've finally got that off my chest. Puffff, feeling much better now. I need to change, i really do. Like change for the better you know. And this probably is the 238473829th time i've said it. But well, wanting to change is the first step of success. No? Okay maybe not, but lie to me please?



So here's what i'm gonna improve on. I'm gonna be a more responsible person. I know my dad will be EXTREMELY PROUD when he hears this. He's been nagging me to be a more responsible person since i knew how to talk. Honestly, i was never good with responsibilities. I think i was never good in anything admirably good. I mean, all the good traits went to my sister, which is why i look up to her all the time. She's an angel and i'm kinda the devil. But whichever way, i love her to bits, she's my bestfriend, my soulmate & my best sister :)



Reality sucks. You cant get the best of both worlds. Its either this way or the other. So i guess, this is where decision had to be made. I'm a step closer towards maturity i guess. Come to think of it, I was never good at making decisions. Maybe because in the past, i relied too much on my mom and now i had to stand on my own feet that i realized just how hard it could be when a decision needed to be made. I've learnt a alot and i've grown a little along the way. I've never been happier knowing you. And i thank god for that, really.



In the past, i remember making decisions that i regretted, probably till this day. It wasnt easy living with guilt i'll tell you that. And because of that i was never brave enough. When it comes to making a decision i'll always runaway and hide. Well, now i can say that i'm stronger and braver because now i realized that making mistakes is probably the best way to learn and grow. I've no clue on how the future might be, but i do believe that there is always a U-Turn along the way.

So here i am. Ready for a new beginning, whatever it might be. The question is, are you ready for the new me? :)

Happy 20th birthday in advance. I'm already looking forward to whats about to come.